So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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