You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish you could order shots online.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And then my night got REAL pukey
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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