My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
