just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize