Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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