My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize