porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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