put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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