And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
