Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
