I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
