my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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