So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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