Where did you get a picture of my penis
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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