Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize