That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
