So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
