If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
