i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
