literally had 100 drinks last night.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
