he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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