can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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