I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
