the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Someone shit on the floor
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
