nut hugger
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
