Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We need to get me chipped asap
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
