Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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