I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
