I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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