We won't sleep together?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
