I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
