I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
