I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
