You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
