if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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