i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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