He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
