Umm I'm too high to move.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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