After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
