he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
