Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize