Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
