I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize