i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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