I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
