Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
