Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need moral support for this bender
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
