pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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