No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are a genius and a whore.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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