And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
