i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
