Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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