Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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