Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
