That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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