I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
