I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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