are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
