dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There are leaves in my underwear?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
