The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
