covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
