I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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