I'm going to jail i love you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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