I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
